An emotional, physical, spiritual roller coaster.
When God asks you to step out in faith, it’s not comfortable, you’ll feel like you are never in control, and you know your idea of the outcome could be completely different from God’s. That is what this past week has been for us.
We have asked many of you to be praying with us for 30 days now that the Thai government would review our paperwork and give us the approval to move forward. We’ve also asked you to pray that God would get the glory through each step of our adoption process, no matter how long a step takes.
Last Friday, I got a message from another family in the process in a similar timeline that they had received their approval. And my hope was that maybe our agency just hadn’t gotten to calling us yet. But then as I saw others post on Facebook they also received approval, I knew the reality - it wasn’t our time yet.
Not even two days before this happened someone else in the process asked me how we were handling waiting, and here was my response, "We are doing great, I know if God wanted our boy in our home now he would be! We want God to use us in this season as we long for the next. Are their days when I'm just ready to be holding him? Yes! But I have to be mindful of where my focus is...try to keep it on the Lord. The days when I'm struggling with contentment are the days I can tell my focus is on myself, and that's not good for anyone. I know the time will be here shortly! Find scripture that gives you hope in the Lord. Isaiah 41:10 and Col. 1:11 are super encouraging!”
I saw God testing my heart on Friday as others received approval from Thailand - Rachel, do you really believe what you are telling others? Are you truly focusing on God no matter what? Are you taking scripture to heart to meditate on God’s truth? OR, will you give in to what the world (and some whom we talk to) would say and complain about the fact that we are still waiting.
I can honestly tell you that I’m thankful I saw my heart in that moment - because Jason and I rejoiced together because we have hope, we are higher on the list for the next round of approvals, and I rejoice for families who are moving forward because I see God’s faithfulness to them. We have patience that can only be credited to God. I’m on this journey with the love of my life! God is using us now as we wait. God is still and will always be good, God is still and will always be in control.
When I was a junior in college, I was in a class on creating a Biblical Worldview (which in hind-sight, awesome class for any 19 yr old to take!). We addressed different controversial topics, did research, and created our own worldview on that topic. Jason and I would of just been engaged a few days before when I turned this project in, and I can guarantee you that children was not on my radar at all. In all honesty, it was probably a project I didn’t want to do still being on cloud nine from being engaged :)
This project addressed IVF (this is not a for or against IVF post as the conclusions we have come to on this is what God has put on our hearts to adopt instead). The other night as I cleaned out our office, I found this project. And yes, I literally cried as I read what I wrote when I was 19 years old.
“I understand that the feeling of not being able to have your own child is tremendous, especially for a woman. However, this [article] gave me a better idea of the physical, emotional, and spiritual pains and anguish that come along with this [IVF]…I honestly cannot say that I would totally omit the issue if I was in my 30’s and have not been able to have children. However, I would confide and trust in the Lord, knowing that He would help me through that heartache, help me understand why He chose a barren path for me, and wait in His timing for whatever plans He may have for me. Why go through such a painful and hurting process [IVF] when you know that God has other plans for you?”
Moments later I opened up another college binder, I found this, and have dwelled on it ever since!
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:13-14)
The emotional, physical, spiritual roller coaster of stepping out in faith to obey God.
We have asked many of you to be praying with us for 30 days now that the Thai government would review our paperwork and give us the approval to move forward. We’ve also asked you to pray that God would get the glory through each step of our adoption process, no matter how long a step takes.
Last Friday, I got a message from another family in the process in a similar timeline that they had received their approval. And my hope was that maybe our agency just hadn’t gotten to calling us yet. But then as I saw others post on Facebook they also received approval, I knew the reality - it wasn’t our time yet.
Not even two days before this happened someone else in the process asked me how we were handling waiting, and here was my response, "We are doing great, I know if God wanted our boy in our home now he would be! We want God to use us in this season as we long for the next. Are their days when I'm just ready to be holding him? Yes! But I have to be mindful of where my focus is...try to keep it on the Lord. The days when I'm struggling with contentment are the days I can tell my focus is on myself, and that's not good for anyone. I know the time will be here shortly! Find scripture that gives you hope in the Lord. Isaiah 41:10 and Col. 1:11 are super encouraging!”
I saw God testing my heart on Friday as others received approval from Thailand - Rachel, do you really believe what you are telling others? Are you truly focusing on God no matter what? Are you taking scripture to heart to meditate on God’s truth? OR, will you give in to what the world (and some whom we talk to) would say and complain about the fact that we are still waiting.
I can honestly tell you that I’m thankful I saw my heart in that moment - because Jason and I rejoiced together because we have hope, we are higher on the list for the next round of approvals, and I rejoice for families who are moving forward because I see God’s faithfulness to them. We have patience that can only be credited to God. I’m on this journey with the love of my life! God is using us now as we wait. God is still and will always be good, God is still and will always be in control.
When I was a junior in college, I was in a class on creating a Biblical Worldview (which in hind-sight, awesome class for any 19 yr old to take!). We addressed different controversial topics, did research, and created our own worldview on that topic. Jason and I would of just been engaged a few days before when I turned this project in, and I can guarantee you that children was not on my radar at all. In all honesty, it was probably a project I didn’t want to do still being on cloud nine from being engaged :)
This project addressed IVF (this is not a for or against IVF post as the conclusions we have come to on this is what God has put on our hearts to adopt instead). The other night as I cleaned out our office, I found this project. And yes, I literally cried as I read what I wrote when I was 19 years old.
“I understand that the feeling of not being able to have your own child is tremendous, especially for a woman. However, this [article] gave me a better idea of the physical, emotional, and spiritual pains and anguish that come along with this [IVF]…I honestly cannot say that I would totally omit the issue if I was in my 30’s and have not been able to have children. However, I would confide and trust in the Lord, knowing that He would help me through that heartache, help me understand why He chose a barren path for me, and wait in His timing for whatever plans He may have for me. Why go through such a painful and hurting process [IVF] when you know that God has other plans for you?”
God has literally rocked my world this week as He has been with me through heartache, He’s showing me daily how I can be used by Him in this season, and as He reveals more and more of His plans for me, they are far greater than I would of ever imagined.
Moments later I opened up another college binder, I found this, and have dwelled on it ever since!
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:13-14)
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