Adoption Learning

Here's just a few things we've been learning about adoption that we'd love to share:

Great read on how to view Gotcha Day:


 Adoption Quotes: 
  • "A call to adopt is a call to suffer with the orphan."--Brandon Hatmaker
  • "'Orphan' is a label.  The root word in Hebrew is 'alone.' "--Nemili Johnson.  
  • "Ambiguous loss is the hardest to get over."--Panel discussion
  • "The danger is that we love serving more than we love Jesus."--Jason Kovacs
  • "God wants to be with us more than He wants something from us."--Jason Kovacs
  • "The church is an outpost of the kingdom."--Tony Merida
  • "Prayer for healing is probably for a lifetime."--Brandon Hatmaker
  • "Your theology determines your biography. You do what you believe."--Tony Merida
  • "Permanency doesn't change what happened before."--Tara VanderWoude  (My forever family doesn't take away my grief and trauma.)
  • "You will have to take a risk to serve."--J D Greer
  • "Satan hates children."--Either Herbie Newell or Rick Morton
  • "The best thing you can do [for your child] is to know who you are and Whose you are."--Karen Hutchenson
  • "Suffering isn't a penalty; it's a passage."--Brandon Hatmaker
  • "You don't have to leave your calling. You need to learn how to leverage it."--Tony Merida
  • "Those who believe the gospel will become like it."--J D Greer
  • "Orphan Care is a result of sin and we are foolish if we think we can take sin on by ourselves.  We need people praying for us."--Unknown
Adoption: The Heart of the Gospel by John Piper 

A Compassionate Call to Counter Culture by David Platt: 
Highly recommended! (Rachel's currently reading)

Adopted for Life by Russell D. Moore: 
Highly recommended for EVERY Christian to read 
  • As we become more attuned to the gospel, we'll have more of a burden for orphans
  • As believers in the family of God, do we realize we were adopted? More often than not satan tempts us to think we're naturally born children, with a right to all of this grace and glory.
  • Maybe the reason we wonder whether adopted children can "really" be brothers and sisters is because we so rarely see it displayed in our pews.
  • When we lose our identity, we find it in Christ.
  • The universe was meant to be a home to image-bearers of God - but because of the Fall, the universe is an orphanage, the heirs were gone, done in by their appetites.
  •  When we were still orphans, Christ became a substitute orphan for us.
  • Great example of adoption is Joseph's adoption of Jesus.
  • God loves the orphans. He fights for them making them sons and daughters.
  • What better way is there to bring the good news of Christ than to see his unwanted little brothers and sisters placed in families where they'll be raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?
  • The numbness to earthly adoption is easily translated to numbness to spiritual adoption.
  • There are some things more joyous than choice - like peace, life and love.
  • The Father adopts children, and we're called to be like him. Jesus cares for orphans, and we're being conformed into His image.
  • Phil 4:12-13 "I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can all things through him who strengthens me."
  • International adoption has a distinct Great Commission aspect to it!
  • Some of the countries families may adopt from have little, if any, exposure to the gospel. International adoption can be the means the Spirit uses to proclaim Christ among peoples where Christ is not yet named.

Adopting the Older Child: Hague approved course
  • Schedule and set routines will be very important when you bring the child(ren) home
  • Bring the child home to a space that is simple, uncluttered and straightforward (few toys)
  • Trust and attachment take time - limit the amount of caregivers of the child(ren)
  • Once a child learns trust and attaches to parents, they can then transfer affections to others
  • If the first few weeks home, limit social events, visitors and set routines
Conspicuous Families: Hague approved course
  • Conspicuous adoption means confronting problems that other families do not face such as racial stereotypes, intrusive comments, and a heightened sensitivity to racial identity
  • Handling intrusive comments: consider the spotlight, observe your child, protect your child, empower your child
Finding the Missing Pieces: Helping Adopted Children Cope with Grief and Loss: Hague approved course
  • How toddlers may react: grieve loss of caregivers
  • How preschoolers may react: like but don't understand adoption story, sensitive to differences
  • How school age children may react: understand adoption gains and losses, feelings of divided loyalties, curiosity about birth parents
  • How teens may react: questions about identity, self assertion, feelings of loss and abandonment
  • How adults may react: curiosity, anger, resentment, fear and guilt
Medical Issues in International Adoption: Hague approved course
  • Many effects of institutional care - orphanages and even foster homes with multiple children
  • Learned how to evaluate a referral
  • Pre-adoption evaluation of referral - thankful to have an children's hospital 15 minutes away with a great international adoption facility!
  • Learned about specific medical conditions common from southeast Asia
  • Tips on traveling to pick up child(ren) and traveling home
The Journey of Attachment: Hague approved course
  • The attachment process is a negotiation between two individuals, each trying to have their needs met while attempting to meet the needs of the other in return
  • A child needs someone to care for their physical and emotional well being
  • Parents need a child who will respond to them, and appreciates the love and attention they give
  • A child's attachment with a caregiver serves as a model for future emotional relationships they will have, and offers a foundation for their self identity
  • Children who have never experienced secure attachment don't understand that parents want to meet their needs and do what's best for them - these children may push their parents away

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