Six Month Mark - Redemption

Because God is in the business of redeeming.

It’s funny how my last blog post was about looking up to God and then looking forward, because somehow this month I’ve been reflecting so much on the looking back. Remembering shows us how God was faithful, what God was doing, and what we learned to apply going forward. We can’t turn back time, so you want to be careful your not living in the past and missing the now. But, remembering certainly can teach you what to apply in your current situation. We see that all over in scripture right? It was put in there to show us who God is, what all He has done, and we praise Him that He never changes.

As I have reflected this month, God has really opened my eyes to understand more of how truly HARD those first few months home with Dominick were. You don’t always realize how hard something is when you are in it, and when God is carrying you through it. I know the only way we got through that season was because God carried us through. And we prayed. And prayed. And asked others to pray. And prayed more. And God answered.

As I reflect on those first months, I can now understand some aspects of adoption that are hard to comprehend until you actually see it:

• Grief in adoption is real. I’ve heard it said that the grief a child feels in adoption is similar to the grief of a parent dying. The ones you love are completely gone. It hurts, you don’t understand, it’s scary, and you mourn. 
• Grief of a major loss is traumatic. Having your whole world flipped upside down is trauma. And a child will respond to trauma in their own way. It could be nightmares and screaming in the night. It could be acting out towards you because of the hurt they have. It could be disobedience to test your love for them. Their hurt can drive them to want to hurt you or themselves. And you are so new to knowing them, you have no idea if this is their personality, an adoption issue or just a three year old. (I’m sure there are more but these were our boy’s highlights)
• In adoption, you have to learn quickly how to help them process their loss, while you are also trying to build bridges of their previous culture, language, schedule to now yours. Although kids are incredibly resilient, that much change will take a toll on anybody and is a significant learning curve.
• Our sweet boy also didn’t talk when he came home, talk (haha) about a challenging communication barrier.
• All while this is happening, let’s not forget that we were first time parents to a three year old - which I know every parent is a first time parent at some point, it’s God’s grace to all of us when we survive right?

On paper, looking at the above, succeeding in adoption doesn’t sound humanly possible. How does a little boy thrive through all this? Is adoption worth it? How do Jason and I have contentment and joy today as we look at our sweet little boy?

Because God is in the business of redeeming. Taking what seems broken and making it into something new. 

Sometimes God’s plan requires taking hard road after hard road to get to the best road. 

That certainly can seem like mine and Jason’s testimony at times. Those first few months home were hard, and although we certainly knew it, we didn’t let it control us (although I’m not going to lie, sometimes it did!) but instead choose to let God sustain us. To God be the glory!

This could certainly sound like Dominick’s story. I’m grateful to think he won’t remember much of his hard story, but we’ll share it with him when appropriate, because it is important because it’s his story, and God sustained him through it all. To God be the glory!

God used those first months, that hard season to bring us to this sweet season. A season we don’t deserve, but God has blessed us with. A season that’s not perfect, and will always have parenting or adoption challenges. But to God be the glory that God has formed a sweet bond between us and our boy that is love, strong and secure. Exactly what God would want for our family. Now that I see what a ‘normal’ three year old temper tantrum is, we praise God that our boy is expressing his trauma less and less as each new day arises. We praise God for answered prayers of wisdom in bridging gaps. He fits so perfectly in our family, has grown a comfortability and lovability that seems so naturally him, and he doesn’t stop talking now. And we understand that each day is new as a parent, and we rest in knowing that God brought us wisdom and endurance as we began our parenting journey in a tough situation, so we can always look back and remember that God will be faithful going forward as we know hard seasons will come again as they always do.

Seeing today our little guy thrive is confirming to us day after day that God chose him for our family, and we can never erase from our minds day after day praying for a family - God is in the business of redeeming and He has done that in each of our lives! 

The redemption shown in adoption is such an incredible visual of the redemption Christ did through the Gospel! Taking what’s broken and making it into something new.