The Day I Met Dominick
One year ago today was the day I met my son.
We didn’t blog much during our trip to Thailand. So much information needed to be protected for the sake of our adoption. But maybe a year later, if I write out what that day was like, you’d understand more. The joy in adoption. The grief in adoption. The emotional heaviness of adoption. How much I sweated that day, haha. How tight I squeezed Jason’s hand as we stepped into everything that was outside our comfort zone.
BUT this. This is how God wrote our story. Dominick’s story. Some enter motherhood through extreme labor pains on a hospital bed. Me? I entered through a little boy walking in my hotel room with his social worker in Bangkok, Thailand on August 31, 2016.
It was monsoon season in Thailand, which meant the mornings were bright sun and in the afternoons we’d expect extreme downpours. We woke up to that sunlight, we were on the 15th floor of our hotel with the most breathtaking view of one of the largest cities in the world. I loved being up so high. We could escape the city sounds, smells and business on our balcony that overlooked it all.
We had a letter from our foster program, called HSF, in hand. 10:00AM they would come. We were paired up with a Norwegian couple also adopting. We went downstairs, had our usual breakfast - a cook who was a egg-cellent omelet chef :-) Then we headed back upstairs for the final details. That afternoon we were scheduled to meet our son’s foster family, and had to arrange all nine thank you gifts for his family. We got back downstairs early, only to realize that this was the start to meeting after meetings that seemed to start early which Jason and I have a hard time getting anywhere early, so a bit of an adjustment.
We met the other couple. They had been in the adoption process for over six years. A sobering perspective as we had been in the process at that point for two and a half years.
HSF staff asked to use one of our rooms for our briefing, we volunteered ours. Now when I say hotel room, it’ s essentially an apartment with a kitchen, living room and all. In our briefing, we received all of our son’s paperwork (which most we had digital), photos of his biological mother, a Thai flag, and a run-down on Thai words and edict.
I was struck with emotion as we waited - I asked the foster care lady if she loves these days of families being united. It was a joy to us, obviously. But she gave me an answer I didn’t expect. She struggles on these days. It is sad. Because these children are leaving Thailand, there home. And although she knows it’s what’s best for these kids, and this is what she fights for, it is HARD to see them go!
Then, in Thai fashion, or maybe just HSF fashion, about 20 minutes before they were supposed to arrive, our room received a phone call. Our son, and this other family’s daughter was in the building. Oh my - you should of seen Jason and this other father scurry to set up camera’s to capture these first moments while our children rode the elevator up!
I’m not sure if being rushed made us less nervous because we were so frantic, or more nervous because we didn’t feel like we had enough time to prepare ourselves. Either way, we sat down next to the other couple, and watched these two beauties walk in. Now, these kids did not know each other, but they were so sweet side-by-side. We were teamed up together because these children had the same social worker, not foster family.
Dominick walked in first. His family photo album in hand, his social worker slowly guiding him to us. He was wearing an outfit and backpack we sent him. We didn’t know what to do, we knew he didn’t like strangers, so as much as I wanted to scoop him up, I didn’t. At least right away. Instead, we started playing with him. Showing him we were the people in the pictures. Slowly holding his hand, patting his back when he did something and finally to a point of holding him - the embrace we had waited over a year from first seeing his picture.
He was curious, we had a hard time keeping his attention. He wanted to look in every cupboard, closet, room and he wanted to play with the other little girl. HSF staff did an amazing job redirecting him back to us over and over again. We did lunch all together as a group. He sat on my lap and let me feed him. He loved when we did selfie’s on the phone, he loved seeing his reflection. He did great at letting Jason hold him wherever we went, you could tell he felt safe in his arms. My arms couldn’t hold him as long as Jason, not enough muscles, haha.
After lunch, we dropped the other family off, and we went with the HSF staff and our son to meet his foster family. No seat belts or carseats in the van, so he cuddled on our laps. I tried to memorize everything I saw; however, it got tired try to image capture what we saw outside every time we stopped, because then sure enough, we started driving again. When we finally stopped, I had lost how we even got there!
It was a quiet street, with an alley. And we started walking. And walking. Our son wanted to walk, and he takes small steps, so I’m sure it wasn’t as far as it felt. We passed a huge Buddhist temple on our left. We kept walking. Around corners, the alley got smaller and smaller. Sure enough, we started to see small houses off the alley with house numbers above the door. One door was open, people were smiling inside. We made it!
It all made sense now. Every picture we saw of our son. The small alley, homes made out of sheet metal, potted plants. We walked in, a family so welcoming. Our son knew exactly where to put his shoes, and he ran off to play with another little boy. We sat down at the table to talk with his foster family. Ask questions, get to know them. They did not speak english so we worked through a translator. We finally heard our son say one word. And, he laughed and laughed with this other little boy, the first we really saw him laugh. My mind and eyes were going in all directions. Trying to watch our son be himself in his environment. Follow a translator, interact with this wonderful family as much as you can without the same language. Thinking about the love they’d shown to our son, but also that they were, at that time, only two days away from saying goodbye to him forever. Then hearing his foster family saying how they know this adoption is what’s best for this boy with a straight face. That’s what we all say and know in our hearts, sure doesn’t make it an easier. The Lord saved me from balling my eyes out however, as the afternoon monsoon rain came in, and a crazy downpour rain on a metal roof results in cutting any conversations short. We took some group photos, then in my skirt, we ran all the way back to the van in the pouring rain while our son enjoyed one of his last nights with his foster family.
Now, I would of still been an emotional wreck from meeting this family, but another distraction came our way. Although we were in Bangkok, and his home was in Bangkok, it was at least a 45 minute drive from our hotel. However, that night, the day we met our son, we sat in the van for over 4.5 HOURS in rush hour traffic trying to get back to our hotel. I learned many things that night: my husband’s patience can actually be tested, no one has rush hour traffic like Bangkok has rush hour traffic, and our foster care staff has incredible hearts. That long in a van together, you get to know each other. Our son’s social worker, the staff members - they were looking out for our son’s best interest every single day when we weren’t there. We also learned that international adoption is for the majority of these Thai foster children, their only hope - we saw even more clearly how God chose us to step up!
The day we met Dominick was wonderful. We’d begin to see after day one that he slowly was understanding what was happening, and the new was not the old, and he was not a fan. Hard days ahead, but day one was good!
It was a heavy day. Meeting our son, his foster family, raining, running, sitting in a van forever…but God orchestrated it all, and was it not only memorable, it was good!
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